This has been a huge year for me. I’ve made big changes, some that have terrified me for a long time. Along with the lifestyle changes I have made, I’ve made a purpose of pushing myself to limits that I may have never entertained before. I have been getting myself into shape – I loved being lazy. I ran in the Warrior Dash – I hated running! I went rock climbing – okay….. I chickened out, but I TRIED to go rock climbing. I decided I would do the CN Tower Edge Walk with my friend Heather – and then we came across some other financial responsibilities, and I had to bow out. Bummer. And then I got this tweet:
WHAT? Blissdom could be my ticket to finally do the Edge Walk I so badly wanted to do? But COULD I? Even if I was lucky enough to get in? And then there was the internal struggle with the decision of sticking with my posse. Do I want to do what they do? Do I settle for something else so we can be together? Luckily she knew me well, and encouraged me to go for it – so I did.
I was scheduled to work at that tattoo shop piercing that day (what’s that? I still haven’t posted about it? I SWEAR it’s coming soon!). I actually booked off 12:45-1:15 in the book, and said I would NOT do any piercings at this time – I needed to be at my computer, and could not be interrupted. I woke up feeling pretty under the weather that day, so there were no interruptions to be had. I had one boy in school, and the other with his Papa. This spot was MINE. Refresh, refresh, refresh, CONGRATS your in! WHAT? I may have peed a little. I may have got up in my sweats and blanket and did a little dance. And then, I may have thrown up in my mouth a bit. Did I really just sign up for this?
Before I knew it, the weekend was upon me. The Conference was amazing. The Connections were amazing. The Party was a ton of fun. I told people all weekend that I was one of the crazy women going on the edge. There were a lot of mixed reactions – some told me I was nuts, some almost seemed scared for me, others were totally envious. The pressure built as Saturday went on. If I chickened out of this one, I would have had people very upset with me, people who were ready to go a the notice of anyone cancelling. I had to do it.
I woke up Sunday morning, and watched my roomies take off on their own adventures. I was left alone to let it start to sink in, giving myself a pep-talk in my head. I was going to do this.
I met up with 5 other women in the lobby, along with my friend Dana (Hot Pink Apron) (One of the envious), and we started our trek to the tower. There was a mixture of excitement and nervousness in the air. I was actually amazed at how ‘okay’ I felt. Even when we finally walked in, I still felt okay. I was going to do this.
our lives away the release forms, visited the washrooms one last time, and we went in to get suited up. The Edge Walk crew was great, encouraging us while cracking jokes the entire time. Dee (Cocktail Deeva) gave us an inspiring pep talk about trust – trusting the harnesses, trusting the ropes, our guide, each other and ourselves. It was very Armageddon-esque walking out of that room. We were all about to do this.
And then the door opened, and my heart sank. I was terrified. It was insane. There we were, walking out onto the edge of the freaking CN TOWER! How was I going to do this? TRUST. I needed to trust in all of it, and I needed to trust myself. It was thrilling. It was exciting. It was scary. It was AMAZING. You could hear the wind, and our guide. No traffic, no sounds from the street, no one yelling up telling us that we were nuts. And then it was time where we had to move towards the edge. I almost lost it. We just had to take a few slow steps and put our toes over – Toes over Toronto he called it. Before I got there I had to grab the hand of the brave woman beside me. I did it.
Then we had to turn around, and lean off the edge backwards. Letting our bodies go, arms stretched out, all the way back. No.bloody.way. I shook my head. I whimpered. I said I couldn’t do it. But with the encouragement of my fellow risk takers I did. And as I stretched my body backwards over the edge of the worlds tallest free-standing structure I suddenly felt more free than I ever have in my life. It was incredible. (Skip ahead to 6:50 to see me all terrified about to lean back)
Check out the other videos on my YouTube channel!
This was seriously one of the best experiences in my life. It was amazing, and I feel so accomplished. I don’t know if I would have done it if I hadn’t had trust. I was so close to chickening out, and I know how much I would have regretted it.
Thank you to Blissdom Canada and the people at CN Tower for making this possible. Thank you to Microsoft Canada for the reception, and allowing me to Skype my Dad before heading out. And thank you to Dee (Cocktail Deeva), Jenn ( ThePartyMama ), Katja Wulfers ( jackstrawlane ), Stephanie Smith ( OhBelleville ) and Brooke Berry ( Brookie_Berry ) for being my rocks. All of you. I still can’t believe we did it!! Holy GUACAMOLE! ( I guess I should explain that Guacamole was our ‘safe’ swear word 😉 )
Check out the other’s posts about our experience:
Cocktail Deeva – Trust Me…
Brooklyn Berry – Overcoming Your Fears – TRUST
Jack Straw Lane – Walking on the Edge